Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Patience Is A Virtue

I wanted to make a new post about patience. Lets look up the word patience in Wikipedia.
According to Wiki, the definition of the word Patience is as follows it is the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties

Now by definition it means not to be aggravated, upset, or irritated when dealing with problems of human nature I am assuming. But with human nature comes all kinds of problems. Not just as adults but as children too.

Do you think that dogs or cats have patience. Do you think that when they are sitting in the veterinarians office they are sitting there tapping their foot waiting for the doctor to see them and continuously asking how much longer will it take. I do not see this happen very often. When someone is working on your car and they are trying to figure out what is wrong with it, do you see the car tapping its tires on the ground saying to the mechanic "Hurry up man! I got places to drive to and I have to escort these people around all over the place!" I don't see this happening very often.

Now again, when someone is working with you say on a computer problem which many of have in our daily lives, would it be rude to be standing over someone breathing down their neck while the technician is working on the issue? I am not one to complain about people or about rudeness of people because thats just the way some people are. They are just rude. But that would be another topic for another day. In the line of work that I deal with, I have to be patient with my customers as I would refer them to, as much as I can. Even if they are crabby pattys, I will be as kind and friendly as I possibly can. As for myself, I want to ensure that before I leave my job, or any projects that I am working on, that I complete them in full. And even if it takes an extra couple of minutes to make sure that I have all the paperwork, telephone numbers, names and addresses, thats what I will do. I don't care if you have to wait an extra few minutes for me to finish this up. This is important to me.

There is one more issue I would like to bring up in this post. say when a woman is in labor, delivering a baby, do you think that she would say to the doctor, "Get this freaking baby out of me now because I have errands to run and I have to be back at work within the next two hours!"
I don't think anything like that would happen. But hay, you never never know!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Farting Chair

Have you ever wondered? Have you ever thought?

Well I have. I have thought about it a lot of times. When I am getting up and down and moving all around. I have thought about "The Farting Chair". The idea here is that, when you sit down in your chair, will you fart on it? Will you blow whole on it? Will you peep one out?

Most likely Yes. You will fart in your chair. Think about how you would lean, left or right up or down to push that stinker out. How much noise you can make to make sure no one else in the office can hear. Oh wait the best is yet to come. And often times, if they have been NAKED in that chair. AND FARTING OOO LA LA!

And as for me, I have to sit in other peoples chairs that they have most likely farted on. Yes doesn't that sound like tuns of fun? The Farting Chairs!

There is one resolution although. You can get a small patch that prevents and soaks up your farts in the chair. This patch is called a Flat D. How it works is that it is supposed to soak up all flatulence that the person will let out through charcoals. Here is a link to their website where you can actually BUY this product. Link

But imagine this, for me. I go into someones office to do the daily or basic things that I need to do. They are there or hanging around the office, doing what they need to do. And I place this mat down in front of them. Well what in the world do you think that they will think? Oh you don't trust me enough not to fart in my own chair? Oh thats gross. Well, sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go!! And yes it does happen when you do gotta go!

There were a few more pictures from the website that is offering this small product that I wanted to share.

Basically this small pad is portable. You can take it where ever you go. You can store it in your wallet, your purse, your back pocket as depicted in this picture. Yikes you actually have to touch it. Gloves please!




























The best part about this whole situation is thinking about this next part I will bring up.

Airplanes and Flatulence. Just imagine who has been sitting in that seat before you and before that person. Are you sitting in their flatulence? And the person before them? Yeah you know you are, and you are trying not to think about it. But we can still "Ha Ha" at you for doing so.

Then again I guess that this little Flat-D Piece would come in handy at this point in time. Does it really work? Couldn't tell you. I think I will stick in my own chair for the time being. Besides, who's going to be sitting in my chair and farting besides myself. I could care less if some flatulence gets on someone else's pants or legs or skin or muscle or hair or nose.

Thats their problem for not wearing a gas mask.


http://www.flat-d.com/chairpadblack.html

Shopping Cart Bells (Ding Ding)



You ever get stuck in the grocery store and having problems finding your way out? How about having to PUSH your way out. Well I have come up with a new concept.

A Shopping Cart Horn. (Or Bell)
The idea here is that if your stuck in some of the more crowded isles in the grocery store, well some people don't like to move. Not to mention to move their buns or the cart itself. What I have been doing in the past is doing the usual "Excuse Me" routine. That doesn't always work. Well, in my concept, we would have a small bell, like you would on a bicycle or a trike. Hey easy to put on and assemble right? Well where I live a lot of people are hard of hearing. So in this case a horn would make more sense. They would be able to hear the horn as I am continuing to say "Excuse Me" routine over and over again. Oh wow you have moved out of the way. Hey that sounds like a good plan, lets roll with it. Trust me, a lot of people can't move out of the way for whatever reason or another, but if you BEEP or DING at them, I think they would get their buns moving.

And for some of the more scary folks out there, they might need some helmets to go along with the bells, for safety purposes.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Snakes On A Plane!! Oh Wait! It's Just Mice!

I thought that this article was hilarious. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22591304/)

Not only because it was mice, but on a plane. THAT GOT LOOSE!! HA HA!. So I have linked the article below for fellow readers to read and comment on.
The only difference I see between the hungry flesh human eating snakes is that they are mice. I suppose they aren't hungry flesh human eating mice either.


It is kind of funny when you do think about mice being on an airplane. What kind of images would your mind draw up? I checked Google and found a few that might interest my readers:









Next thing you know, it will be cats!
EEEKKK!